LibGuides: Black Lives Matter: Talking to our Children

On the Importance of Talking with Students

When Disaster Strikes: Talking to Children About Traumatic Events Large-scale tragedies can be extremely disturbing to children, who thrive on predictability and security. When exposed to these catastrophic events, whether personally or through the media, children often display fears and anxieties that may seem extreme to adults. Usually, these reactions are normal. However, without proper assurance, the impact of events like these can remain with children for a long time, even throughout their lives.
When Bad Things Are Happening When news breaks of disaster or violence, your students may want to discuss a crisis as it unfolds. Here’s how.
To Sustain the Tough Conversations, Active Listening Must Be the Norm We have to prepare students—and ourselves—to communicate, question and work our way through a disconnect when the outside world spills into the classroom.
Let's Talk! Facilitating Critical Conversations With Students Educators play a crucial role in helping students talk openly about the historical roots and contemporary manifestations of social inequality and discrimination. Learning how to communicate about such topics as white privilege, police violence, economic inequality and mass incarceration requires practice, and facilitating critical conversations with students demands courage and skill.
An age-by-age guide on how to talk about difficult topics with your children One of the toughest jobs of parenting is talking to your kids about difficult subjects. It's hard enough to explain when a beloved stuffie gets eaten by the washing machine, or when a bully acts tough at school. But it can feel impossible to put into words some of the really big issues, such as violence, racism and other important topics.
NASP: Talking to Children about Violence High profile acts of violence, particularly in schools, can confuse and frighten children who may feel in danger or worry that their friends or loved-ones are at risk. They will look to adults for information and guidance on how to react. Parents and school personnel can help children feel safe by establishing a sense of normalcy and security and talking with them about their fears.
Hard Conversations And Finding The Right Words No matter our personal views, the events that took place in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday, January 6th, 2021 left us with another parenting challenge of trying to find the right words to explain the things our kids saw and heard in the news. Like most of you, we struggled with how we should talk to our kids about the situation in a way that would shelter them from worry but also answer their questions. So, we reached out to Parker Huston, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist and the Clinical Director of the On Our Sleeves Program at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, where he advocates for children’s mental health on a local, regional, and national level. Parker was kind enough to sit down with us to give us tips for talking to the children in our lives about the potentially traumatic events they have been exposed to this week, we hope his insights will help you as much as they did us.

Articles & Resources about Talking to Our Children about Race & Police Brutality

Brightly: How to Talk to Kids About Race: Books and Resources That Can Help "We talk about needing to talk about race without ever actually talking honestly about race. I believe that it’s vital that we help our children (and ourselves) walk and talk in a way that clears that air and breathes new life into these conversations and our world. Sharing stories, real, fictional, our own, and others’, is a powerful tool for that purpose. Here are a few resources and books to help us have those hard conversations with the young people in our lives."
Center for Racial Justice in Education: Resources for Talking about Race, Racism and Racialized Violence with Kids
Common Sense Media: How to Talk with Kids About Racism and Racial Violence "Our kids are feeling the impact of the pandemic, including its disproportionate impact on people of color. And now, they're seeing police brutality and violence aimed particularly at Black lives in a constant stream of images and posts on TV and social media. "As much as you want to keep it in the background, it's not in the background," writes pediatrician Jacqueline Dougé, co-author of the American Academy of Pediatrics statement on effects of exposure to racism, and racialized violence. 'It's having direct health effects on kids.'"
CNN: How to talk to your children about protests and racism "Children and adolescents are experiencing the collateral consequences of the publicized murderers of Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, and George Floyd, whether they have a smartphone in their direct possession or not," said California pediatrician Dr. Rhea Boyd, who teaches nationally on the relationship between structural racism, inequity and health.
DCPS Statement & Resources for Families "DCPS and the District will continue to support our young people by having courageous conversations with them around race to cultivate a brighter future. As a support to our families who are grappling with extremely difficult events and engaging in complex, challenging conversations, DCPS is providing access to anti-racism resources for you and your family. As our community navigates this moment together, I encourage you to take time to reflect, listen, and engage with one another."
Healthy Children: Talking to Children About Racial Bias "Given the tragic and racially-charged current events, many parents are wrestling with their own feelings, the hopes they have for their children, and the difficulty of helping those children thrive in a world full of racial bias."
Kojo For Kids: Jason Reynolds Talks About Racism And The Protests "We’ve asked Jason Reynolds to join Kojo For Kids to help us understand what has led to the tensions we’ve seen over the last week, and to talk about why racism persists and what we can do to build a less racist society."
Lifehacker: Kids Are Not Racially 'Colorblind' "The idea of “colorblindness” when it comes to race is certainly not a new idea. You’ve surely heard it; you might have thought it; maybe you’ve even said it: “Oh, I don’t see color; I only see the person.” Especially when it comes to kids, we have a desire to see them as innocent—which they are—and that this innocence, this purity means they, too, are colorblind. But they are not. And that’s not a bad thing."
National Geographic: Talking to kids about race "Children notice color, and they might have questions about it. Not shying away from those conversations is the first step in raising an anti-racist child."
Parent Toolkit: How to Talk to Kids about Race and Racism "There’s no question: talking about race can be sensitive, and yes, even a bit messy. And “choosing” whether or not to talk to your kids about race is an option many parents, specifically those of color, don’t have; some children may inevitably learn about it by confronting racism in their everyday lives."
The Root: A Black Psychologist's Guide to Talking With Your Children About Race and Police Violence "According to Faith M. Sproul Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, “When it comes to children developing an awareness of race, it starts as young as 2 and 3 years old. But in terms of trying to help children really understand it, I would say as young as six you could actually have some good discussion." In the video above, Sproul lays out some very pragmatic tips on how to tackle this. Here are 5 ways you can talk to children about the George Floyd uprising, race and police violence"
Teaching for Change: Teaching Young Children about Race "Young children need caring adults to help them construct a positive sense of self and a respectful understanding of others. They need adults to help them begin to navigate and resist the harmful impact of prejudice and discrimination."
Teaching Tolerance: Beyond the Golden Rule - A Parent’s Guide to Preventing and Responding to Prejudice "There are times when we as parents must explain things that are painful and unfair— racism, sexism, stereotypes, hate. Times when we must comfort our children, times I have had to help my 10-year-old son learn that what some would do unto him isn’t always kind or fair"
USA Today: George Floyd. Ahmaud Arbery. Breonna Taylor. What do we tell our children? "Should we tell the children? How? Those are among the many questions parents are asking after the recent deaths of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor. Many white parents wonder whether to talk with their kids at all, while parents of color swallow their grief and fear to have "the talk" once again."

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds; Ibram X. Kendi "The construct of race has always been used to gain and keep power, to create dynamics that separate and silence. This remarkable reimagining of Dr. Ibram X. Kendi's National Book Award-winning Stamped from the Beginning reveals the history of racist ideas in America, and inspires hope for an antiracist future. It takes you on a race journey from then to now, shows you why we feel how we feel, and why the poison of racism lingers. It also proves that while racist ideas have always been easy to fabricate and distribute, they can also be discredited."

Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You: An Educators Guide A curricular guide for Stamped: Racism, Antiracism, and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi has been created for educators and students by Dr. Sonja Cherry-Paul, senior research associate at Teachers College Reading and Writing Project.
Colorin Colorado: Talking About Racism and Violence: Resources for Educators and Families

For White & Non-Black POC Families

The Atlantic: How Well-Intentioned White Families Can Perpetuate Racism "The sociologist Margaret Hagerman spent two years embedded in upper-middle-class white households, listening in on conversations about race."
Common Sense Media: How White Parents Can Use Media to Raise Anti-Racist Kids "Here are 10 ideas for how to use media to start and continue conversations about race and racism with your kids. This list is not exhaustive, so if you have other ideas, please add them to the comments."
Embrace Race: It's Time for White Parents of White Kids to Bring the Resistance Home "Conversations about race have to start much earlier than most white people think they do — and we have to keep the conversations going. We have to identify all the ways that the benefit of the doubt accrues to white teens as they walk down the street, play around, act out — or walk into school."
Lee & Low Books: The Opposite of Colorblind: Why It's Essential to Talk to Children About Race "Many African American parents already know what “the talk” is. It’s not the talk that many white parents might expect—we’re not talking about the birds and the bees. No, this “talk” is the one where black parents have to sit with their children and discuss how they might be perceived by the world around them: particularly police, but also teachers, neighbors, and friends who are not from their racial background."
Washington Post: We need more white parents to talk to their kids about race. Especially now. "Socializing kids into a race-based culture is referred to as racial and ethnic socialization (RES). It is the process by which parents and families educate and prepare their children to function in a racialized society like ours. It usually is discussed in research literature as a tool for black parents and generally serves two main purposes: to educate children about their heritage and to prepare them to face racism, discrimination, stereotypes and a host of other race-related issues."

Raising White Kids by Jennifer Harvey
Talking about race means naming the reality of white privilege and hierarchy. How do we talk about race honestly, then, without making our children feel bad about being white? Most importantly, how do we do any of this in age-appropriate ways?
Not My Idea by Anastasia Higginbotham (Illustrator)
Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness is a picture book about racism and racial justice, inviting white children and parents to become curious about racism, accept that it's real, and cultivate justice.

Black Lives Matter Instructional Library

National Museum of African American History and Culture: Talking about Race
"The Smithsonian’s National Museum of African American History and Culture launched Talking About Race, a new online portal designed to help individuals, families, and communities talk about racism, racial identity and the way these forces shape every aspect of society, from the economy and politics to the broader American culture."

CNN: Watch the entire CNN/Sesame Street racism town hall
"The 60-minute special "Coming Together: Standing Up to Racism. A CNN/Sesame Street Town Hall for Kids and Families" will air on Saturday, June 6, at 10 a.m. ET. The show will talk to kids about racism, the recent nationwide protests, embracing diversity and being more empathetic and understanding."
We Are Teachers: 21 Anti-Racism Videos To Share With Kids "It’s crucial that you feel confident and prepared to lead important discussions about what it means to be not only “not racist,” but resolutely anti-racist. Here are some resources to help you get ready."

Additional Resources

Racism has a profound impact on the health and well-being of our kids. Right now, racism against the Black community is being laid bare for all families to see—from the pandemic's disproportionate impact to police brutality and other racist violence. With near-constant exposure to news and social media, more kids are witnessing violence and its aftermath firsthand. As elected leadership and institutions fail to protect Black lives, protests, anger, fear, and a nationwide call for justice have ensued, creating an opportunity to speak openly with our children. How can these conversations be most effective?

As a psychologist with over 29 years experience working in low-income rural and urban neighborhoods, Howard Stevenson recognizes that racially-charged encounters can be scary for people, especially for kids. Tune in to Howard's 2017 TEDMED Talk to learn how he teaches racial literacy as a means to help promote new types of healthy conversations around race in schools and neighborhoods.

KidLit Rally 4 Black Lives: Anti-Racist Resources for Children, Families, and Educators
"Around the nation, people are hurting. Award-winning authors Kwame Alexander, Jacqueline Woodson and Jason Reynolds have organized a Kidlit Rally for Black Lives. We’re honored to host it on our FaceBook Live on Thursday, June 4. This is a time to come together and stand up. Our kids need us. Please join us and spread the word. Together, we can make a difference."